Sorry, My Lord

I’m penniless my Lord
Empty heart, empty cunt.
The pockets of my soul turned inside out
In my head something tinkles
As in Red Cross box
Slip something in my wallet, Lord.

I’m empty and broke.
My heart whistles like a tea kettle.
Elsewhere landscapes burst with beauty.
Here darkness presses on the eyelids.

I squandered everything, blew it away
As if there was tomorrow.
Now it’s Your turn to give me something.
Feed me, heal me
Before you write it down in your book.
Give me a butt, a lousy nickel.
Give this sinner a cock.

Give me this day

I neither sow nor reap,
Nor do I weave.
I obeyed you Lord,
Now You take care of me.
I lazy in bed till noon,
Loaf around all day with nothing to do.
Nights I spend in bars or over my manuscripts
Keep vigil, bleed.
In the morning I step on the cold floor of my heart.
Your son, your offspring,
I sniff between his legs
The way a bitch sniffs her litter
Since You said:
Do to the others
Everything you want done to you.
But that men gave me a kick,
Shook me like sand out of a sandal
On his heart’s podium
I suspect, other heels dance now
While mine lies hollow like a gutter
Beaten by lethal drops of rain.

Nothing comes easy to me anymore
Narrow gate, narrow path.
Stop staring at me, Lord.
Gravity won’t hold me up.
I’m tipsy, have lost my footing.
The street slopes even more.
My house is even more distant.
Give me your hand, extend your finger
Like a torch, not a whip.

Life wails like a mouth organ.
I’ve thoroughly lost my way.
Can’t tell what kind of birds these are,
Plants, trees, what sides of the earth,
Sweat water fish from the deep sea kind,
The source from the river mouth,
The dreams over which I wade
From the street where I swing my hips?

Many time I fell in love forever.
My heart was a hot stove.
Now the jug is broken.
Let there be sex unstained by love,
Is my slogan now.
Every other desire I shook off
Like raindrops from a coat.
Have mercy, Lord.
I sing of a drowned soul
Which I can’t drag to the shore.
My hands hang like wild game.
Help me! Rescue me!
Give me—mouth to mouth!

I loved strong drinks, violent men,
And other such foolish things.
I confess to you Lord
Not a single sin avoided me.
Like your own body
My heart is a pincushion.
Sorry, Lord.
I’m neither Martha nor Magdalena.
I’m what you spat out, your discharge.
Now weigh it all on your scales.
Don’t tip them, don’t cheat on me.
Let them go.
My heart has gone blind, take away my sight
To suffer and pay.
Lord have mercy on me.