Charm: to receive a letter

Anxiously owed a letter, balancing
good news and bad – the let-down, the lift,
the jolt, and the stringing-along –
trust it to come
for months

but don't write. Remember, you couldn't care less.
You tot up dates, guess at news, not attending
to the never-of-course-to-be-shaken
message-wagged grapevine;
maintain

the martyr's air, aware of merit but humble.
Ripen reproaches, clutch – dig them under;
write, tear it up. Such fits
churn the grudge thick,
make it stick.

Finally, patience to tatters, past assuming
causes out of varieties of human
breakdown, hiatus, crisis, whatever – throw pride in
by writing,

straining back rancour. Send. The letter-box
offers straightaway the word your opposite
wrote, to the hour, on the spell's end.
(At expense of baring
your caring.)